Recipes:

Turducken

It may seem a little early to put up a Thanksgiving recipe. But if you've ever made "Turducken," you know how long and difficult the process can be. Seriously, it's like the Eiffel Tower of poultry recipes, assuming the Eiffel Tower took a long time to build. (Hey, you're on the Internet, you look it up.)

If you'd like to prepare this delicious dish for Thanksgiving, you may want to start now. You don't want your Turducken Day guests to cry "fowl," do you?

Ingredients:

1 16-lb. whole turkey, boned (please look this term up--it doesn't mean what you think it means)
1 4-lb duck, boned
1 3-lb. whole chicken, boned (okay, now it's even starting to make us laugh)
8 cups cold sausage and oyster dressing, prepared
salt and pepper

Preparation:

Preheat oven to 375° F (190° C for our Canadian friends). Lay the boned chicken on a platter and season liberally with salt, pepper and Creole seasoning. (Wait, did we forget to list that in the ingredients?)
Lay the boned duck on top of the chicken. Tell whomever's within earshot that they're "getting it on, poultry-style." Trust us, this joke kills every time.
Season duck liberally with salt, pepper and Creole seasoning. Cover and refrigerate.
Lay the boned turkey on a flat surface. We recommend something like a table or counter, as opposed to the floor, or your bed.
Cover with a layer of cold sausage and oyster dressing and push the dressing into the leg and wing cavities so they will look as if they still have bones in them. This part may gross you out.
Lay the duck on top of the turkey, skin-side down, and cover it with a layer of cold dressing. (Feel free to make whatever jokes you want here. You can even re-use the "poultry-style" joke.) Lay the chicken on top of the duck, skin-side down, and cover it with a layer of cold dressing.
With the help of an assistant, bring the edges of the turkey skin up and fasten them together with toothpicks. Do NOT use staples to hold the turkey together, as the emergency room is a horrible place to spend Thanksgiving.
Use kitchen string (did we mention you'd need string?) to lace around the toothpicks to help hold the stuffed turkey together. Carefully place the turducken, breast up, in a large roasting pan.
Roast covered for 4 hours or until the turducken is golden brown. Continue to roast uncovered for 1 hour or until a meat thermometer inserted through the thigh registers 180° F and a thermometer inserted through the dressing registers 165° F. Do not use a glass thermometer. If we had to tell you that, you probably shouldn't be using the oven in the first place.
Check the turducken every few hours to baste and remove excess liquid. There will be enough pan juices for a gallon of gravy. And that's a lot of gravy!
Carve and serve. Yummy!